Frances Taylor-Marshall | Spiritual Care Practitioner / End of Life Doula

Dear Tina

When I was growing up, my Mother and I shared a love of phenomena and the mystical, especially those that present at the end of one's life. Mum had what I used to call a ‘knack’, but I’ve come to know it as a ‘gift’, of being with people when they were dying and was so often present at their time of death. Mum would share her experiences with me without any hint of fear, fright or dread. I would be awe struck listening to her and would simply look up at her and so wish I could have been there to see for myself.

I was present with my Father when he was dying, and I had an experience of our breath becoming one to his last. When my Mother died, I felt like my whole heart had opened. I felt so expanded in the presence of her death, so full of life. Similarly, being with my youngest brother when he was dying, left me yet again with a sense of touching a Divine aspect to life. In the words of Henry Thoreau, American Philosopher, Naturalist and Poet, ‘It is life near the bone where it is sweetest.”

Whenever I reflect and ponder on how I make sense of my life and inevitable death, I can see how I have come to find meaning daily when I consider my life is inextricably linked with preparing myself for when I die. In the words of Leonardo Da Vinci: “While I thought that I was learning how to live, I was learning how to die”. Now an adult, the awe and wonder I felt listening to my Mother’s stories, remain deep-seated within me and informs my work.

I am designed to live and designed to die, and I choose to trust in this design.

With Love

—Frances Taylor-Marshall (2018)

Pastor - Companion to the living & dying

Editor's note: Since the publication of this letter Fran is now a practicing grief & bereavement guide, and holistic funeral celebrant. For further information visit her website at: francestaylormarshall.com.

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